read;
... (when you’re coupled up). Follow Cosmo's Commandments
Er, hello, the purchaser of the chocolate eats the last Rolo. Nobody else. Silly advertisements.
* Signing cards just from you. You haven't morphed into a two-headed person. Besides, you were the one who remembered the birthday and bought the card, so why should he get the credit?
* Turning your room into Fort Knox once a month to bleach your upper lip. It's on a need-to-know basis. He never needs to.
* Wearing your tiniest micro-mini (aka belt) for a night out whenever the hell you feel like it. So what if you’re not on the prowl any more?
* Wearing your greying, elastically-challenged knickers on Sundays. The big man upstairs declared it a day of rest. And that includes a rest from thongs.
* Watching bad reality TV with glee. You're fully aware it's the intellectual equivalent of eating McDonald's; if he doesn't like it, there's always that handy thing called a ‘door'.
* Not knowing - or caring - what the rules of cricket are. It's just posh rounders.
* Wanting to squash Angelina Jolie with one of those enormous cartoon mallets - not only is she the world's most beautiful woman, she's now pulled the world's most beautiful man. Double not fair!
* Never responding to an invitation with, “Just let me check with X…”
* Winking at barmen. It gets you served like lightning. That's your only motive. Honest.
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